What’s it all about again?

Well, as the young people would say; O.M.G. 

I went clubbing at the weekend for probably the first time in 10 years and now I thoroughly remember why I have stayed away so long.  The place itself was not really very much different from how they used to look - big dance floor in the middle, bar on either side, smug DJ in the booth etc - and neither has the goings on at these places totally changed…But what is enjoyable again about queuing up for half an hour to buy a drink for £7.50??  Or about having your arse felt by chancey teenagers trying their luck on the dance floor?  I guess in a vodka-fuelled haze it all seemed quite entertaining to relive my mis-spent youth.  Perhaps my view has been coloured by what happened the next day - literally the mother, father and grandparents of all hangovers.  I honestly cannot remember a time when I have been more ill…even the thought of any food passing my lips until it was at least 7 in the evening was a tormenting and retch-inducing experience. 

I may still enjoy the dancing, but I’m thinking very seriously of putting my drinking days firmly behind me.  Probably.

Just had a look at the new Robbie Williams and Gary Barlow video for ‘Shame’.  I don’t think it’s either of their’s best work but it did make me smile!  Their voices blend well together in the chorus and I think the video and the song together serve as some kind of apology to each other… I’m curious as to why Robbie’s name appears first in the credits though? 

I’m more than happy for Robbie to tour with Take That again (yes, I was one of the heartbroken fans who cried for a whole night when Robbie left the first time!) but I don’t know if the old magic can ever be recovered.  It was half a lifetime ago that that all took place, a lot has happened since then…

It has occurred to me that we have some bizarre and surreal conversations in my office at work, but these are probably going on in every office up and down the country every day.

The topics of conversation this week included ‘Lewd Twister’ where it was discovered that myself and one other colleague had never realised that the game ’Twister’ is supposed to be rude, deliberately putting people in lewd and compromising positions…I have only ever played it as a child when I thought that the object of the game was to stay on your hands and feet for the longest.  Well, who knew?

Another thing I have been introduced to this week is lavender-flavoured cupcakes.  Any kind of cupcake usually gets the thumbs up from me, but I was curious to know what one flavoured with essentially an older person’s scent or massage oil fragrance would be like… I have to say it’s a revelation!  I liked it so much, I had two this week!

I heard the news this week that an old school friend of mine (who was my bestest friend throughout senior school but who I lost touch with afterwards) was getting married today, and it set me off on a trip down memory lane.  It sounds like a cliche but it really doesn’t feel like that long ago that we were having sleepovers and giggling about which footballers we fancied. 

When you’re a kid, you really cannot imagine things any other way - you can’t picture a world where you have to pay tax, where your mates have high-powered jobs and your parents start to get old.  You always expect that things will just fall into place when you’re an adult - you will get a job, you will meet and marry the perfect person, you will raise children.

So what happens if you miss out somehow?  What if you just never know what you want to do as a profession?  What if you never meet someone who seems just right for you?  What if you do, but they’re already married to someone else?  What if you can’t have children?

It sometimes makes you feel like you’re stuck outside on a cold winter’s day without a jacket, and you come to a house and look in the window and see a family, sitting together by the fireside.  Even if you felt able to disturb the family, even if they invited you in to get warm, it wouldn’t be your own family, or your own fireside.

But maybe it’s a mistake to worry about or look too far into the future; maybe the here and now needs to be experienced first.

Watched Germany vs Spain this evening and Germany were just not the same team at all that put 4 past Australia and Argentina (oh, and us as well).  Looks like Paul the Octopus knows his stuff - he correctly predicted all Germany’s results in this World Cup.  I think anyone who used his predictions to win money should treat themselves to dinner at a nice seafood restaurant at the weekend - maybe Sunday night!

I’ve been feeling ill at ease this evening and I’m not completely sure why.  I think maybe it might have something to do with not really knowing how to help a friend who is going through a bad time lately.  But honestly, I don’t think there is ever a time when nobody is feeling bad.  We just make the best of it that we can…

I’m also looking at the positives of being single once again - that you always know where you are when you’re only counting on yourself.  You don’t have to worry about when someone will be in touch and whether or not they will be happy to see you. 

The only thing that does really bother me specifically is that feeling of having done something wrong, of having failed, and not knowing what or how.  You can see it coming if you have been in the situation before, but you’re powerless to prevent it from happening again.

But it’s all swings and roundabouts, really.  Just a ride.  More Typhoon Lagoon than Splash Mountain lately, but what do I expect?  I’m getting on a bit now at nearly 32!

We need something to cheer us up in this country - quite aside from the sporting failures of recent weeks, there is the axe of job cuts hanging over us or someone we care about, there is the small matter of us all having to pay more to get less, whilst this new coalition Government (whose idea was that?) pays less and asks for more…

So I’ve just heard Seth Lakeman’s new single Tiny World on the radio for the first time, and it might just be the tonic.  It’s certainly the sort of tune you want to hear again.  It’s fun and summery, and conjures images of dancing in orchards, through meadows, on beaches, with loved ones, and families, everyone smiling and having a good time… Kick back and have a listen;  If you can’t afford a holiday this year, it’s the next best thing.

I went to the best gig last night.  The lovely Seth Lakeman was playing with Benji Kirkpatrick and Cormac Byrne actually on the deck of the HMS Warrior.  As some of his songs have a nautical theme, it just seemed a perfect location, and it felt also rather exclusive since you had to be ticked off a list to get on board!

Seth usually plays alongside his band which includes his brother Sean, but this was the first time he’d played as a trio with Benji of Bellowhead, and Cormac Byrne who is the percussionist from the group Uiscedwr (and has the loveliest infectious smile!)

As we stepped off the train at Portsmouth Harbour, we could hear strains of Solomon Browne coming from the Warrior which is right alongside.  “It hasn’t started already, has it?” my sister asked.  It turned out to be a sound check, but it sounded pretty polished to me!

During the evening, we heard some of the older material, peppered with a few new ones, and when the new album Hearts and Minds finally does make it through letterboxes and onto record store shelves around the country, it will be a very worthwhile occasion.  Tiny World, the probably first single from that album, is a really lovely tune - catchy and uplifting!

A good evening was had by all.

I just want to take a moment to describe to any non-football fans out there what it feels like when the World Cup comes around after a 4 year wait: 

Imagine you’re six years old and Christmas morning finally arrives and Father Christmas has been!  It’s absolutely magical, and you’re so excited you feel as though anything is possible…
Imagine the sheer thrill of being a teenager and being asked out by the person you’ve fancied for ages. 
Think of the feeling you get when you’re on a huge rollercoaster, and you reach the very top of the steepest climb, and know that any second you’re going over it and straight down the other side…so exhilirating!! 

That was how I felt at 1pm yesterday afternoon (was it really only yesterday?) when the credits were playing on the opening of the 2010 World Cup.  Already there have been 5 games (Robert Green, it’s ok, we were bound to concede sooner or later!) and I just can’t wait for the next one!

I seem to be inspired to write a lot more just recently.  It’s as though someone has flicked a switch and I’m back to ‘writing me’ - as I was at University and shortly afterwards, when I wasn’t sure what I planned to do with the rest of my life.  To be honest, 10 years later, I still don’t know, but I’m much more content with the uncertainty than I used to be.  So what has kickstarted this creative urge within me once more?  I think it has a lot to do with the work I’ve been doing at work just lately.  It’s a lot more academic than I’m used to - analysis and evaluation where you have to read a document and read it again.

I have also been seeing a new man for a little while which has maybe made me more vulnerable again.  When you open yourself up to a new relationship, you’re open to a new perspective and new ideas as well which, for me, just translate onto the page (or screen) as easily as thinking aloud.

But enough with the deep stuff!  The World Cup starts next week and I can’t wait!  It’s quite frustrating that I didn’t realise a lot of the games are in the afternoon, so will miss them.  I talked loosely about taking time off work for the World Cup some months ago but never got any further than that.

I’ve had the weirdest film on the tv tonight, The Island with Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johanssen.  There was something odd about the film from the kickoff, don’t think I’ll be watching that again in a hurry!  I wondered what the hell Fabio Capello was doing on it and then I realised it was Sean Bean in glasses.